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sarcasm

The DTV Switchover Scam: Don’t Get Taken!

By | business, news, opinion, rants, sarcasm, technology | One Comment

You’ve probably seen those not-so-creative TV advertisements the National Association Of Broadcasters has put out in an effort to scare inform the general public about how their TVs will no longer work after February 17, 2009. Why? The federal government has mandated that all over-the-air stations turn off their analog signals by that date. The government has auctioned off the analog spectrum to private companies. For more on this, see my post, “AT&T To Bring Free Wi-Fi To Starbucks And Beyond!” where you can learn more about the plans.

Anyway, leave it to Corporate America to capitalize on consumer confusion and take advantage of all of the many people who don’t know anything about what’s really going on with the digital switchover.

Oh, before I go any further, please notice the picture on the left. I added my own caption commentary, but the picture is for real. It’s on the joke-of-a-website DTVAnswers.com. Lets have a moment of honesty and self-reflection here. Do you or anyone you know watch TV like this? Unless they just gambled their life savings on a horse race and just won, there is no way they could be this scary-happy without hard drugs. But I digress.

These TV ads are putting many people in a frenzy. My friend’s family just replaced every TV in their house because they thought without a new TV, each with a digital box connected to it, they wouldn’t be able to watch TV anymore. They already had Comcast standard cable, but they thought they needed both new TVs and to upgrade to Comcast’s digital package (hence the digital boxes) to receive programming. Comcast’s boxes and the ones the government is offering are completely different! The cable industry is raking in the big bucks this year because of misinformed people such as this family.

My grandparents recently got a second digital box from Comcast for their second TV because of the same confusion. I know there must be countless other individuals doing the same thing and flushing money down the tubes to these companies who are using shady advertising tactics to trick consumers. Don’t get screwed over by the cable industry. Here are the cold, hard facts.

If you’re one of the diminishing number of people who uses “rabbit ears” to pick up local broadcast stations and have a TV that’s more than a couple of years old, you won’t be able to pick up the signal after February 17, 2009, without a digital set-top converter box (available free or at a discount rate from the government). If you have cable from any provider at all, such as Comcast or Verizon, you don’t have to do anything. You’re not affected in any way, shape, or form, and don’t let them convince you otherwise.

The government isn’t very clear about who’s affected either. Is this Bush’s backdoor plan to help the economy by helping manufacturers selling millions of dollars TVs and related equipment and the cable and satellite industry make record profits? Okay, probably not. But that is what’s happening in these industries. Don’t get taken!

 

Paula Deen Is Crazy, But Entertaining

By | funny, sarcasm, videos | No Comments

So I spent some time at home with the family last night because it seems I’m always gone. We went out to dinner and then got home and were flipping channels. My mom stopped on the Food Network (big surprise) and we watched the show “Paula’s Party” with Paula Deen. Okay, I wasn’t really watching at first, but then I started noticing all the crazy stuff she was doing. I really should have gone upstairs and hooked my digital cable box to my computer and recorded it, if not to upload to YouTube, just for future entertainment. She’s so over-the-top crazy, at least she was on this episode, I couldn’t believe it.

Now granted she is a likeable woman with southern charm and hospitality, she was ridiculous on this episode. First, she had Billy Joel’s new 20-something wife, Katie Lee Joel, on to help her make some kind of dessert that combined chocolate, caramel, and every other sugary substance known to mankind in a way that should require that it’s served alongside a portable defibrillator. It was pretty much a heart attack on a plate. Well, Paula didn’t waste any time shoving the thing into her mouth and smearing it all over her face as she did it. Nice.

Oh but it gets better. Her next guest was some Austrialian guy that owns “chocolate restaurants” all over the world. He brought these huge slabs of chocolate with him to cook with, which he melted in a bowl. Paula then proceeds to stick her fingers in the bowl and smear chocolate all over his bald head while laughing hysterically (she sounds like a mad hyena or something).

She’s a nice lady and all, but man. She’s a little out of her mind if you ask me. I seriously thought I was watching an SNL or MAD TV sketch. That’s how ridiculous it was. Seriously. She also makes really strange faces all the time as she stuffs the food in her mouth that she just made. This short clip sums up a half hour of them on this episode.

Store Brand FAIL

By | FAIL, funny, sarcasm | 3 Comments

This has to be the worst store brand name idea I’ve ever seen. Came across this in the cereal aisle at Food Lion. Isn’t there anything better they could have come up with than “Crispy Hexagons?” Seriously, that’s pretty weak. They’re already knockoff Crispix, so you’d think at least they’d have a clever name. Not so much.